So I thought
by I am you worst nightmare
Summary: He lifted his hand up hesitantly and stroked my cheek. My blush porbably turned ten times as red. I never thought being in love would hurt so much. I hated having these feelings for someone. Feeling so vulnerable and helpless.Feeling....alone. All human!
1. So in love with you

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So I thought

**_Chapter 1: So in love with you_.**

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_I never thought being in love would hurt so much. I hated having these feelings for someone. Feeling so vulnerable and helpless._

And I hated how I just let the bronzehaired boy walk by me everyday at school and not even say anything to him. How I would always watch him in classes and spot him at lunch. But I know why I do this. I'm afraid. Afraid of getting hurt.

Even though it hurts now what if it gets worst? I hate how everytime he walks by me I feel like I'm choking and this feeling won't stop until he's out of sight. Actually it still doesn't stop. I think about him all the time. I dream about him at night. I see him everywhere ,even if he isn't there. Sometimes I can't help but breakdown in my room and start crying. I hate this! I hate feeling this way. And I can't talk to anyone about it.

It's like I'm all alone and like there's this force telling me not to tell anyone no matter what. The worst part is feeling all alone. Like I'm the only one going through all of this. But I know I'm not the only one. And you know what I hate the most?? I hate how he doesn't seem affected by anything! I hate how he just casually walks by like nothing's wrong at all! I just hate it!Ugh. How can he do that? Doesn't he feel it too? I feel so sad and alone all the time and it's him who causes this! And I bet he wouldn't care anyway. I bet he just blow me off like some tissue. But my heart keeps telling me to not lose hope that it will get better. It tells me to trust me, to trust my feelings and just let all the peices fall into place.

So I have hope and everyday I suffer but then I think of how someday it might change. Someday he will notice and everthing wil be worth the wait. But who knows? God? Yeah I guess he only knows. He knows how this will turn out. I wish that I was a mind reader or like I could see the future just to see if it all works out. Not to just waist my time with some insensitive boy who probably doesn't know I exsist. I really really hope it all wil be worth while though.

So much that if it doesn't I think I would die inside.

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I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock going off playing one of my favorite songs So I thought by Flyleaf. I sang along while finding my school uniform consisting of a crimson button up top and a gray skirt alittle short for my taste.I live in Seattle, Washington in a condo all by myself.

My parents are both photographers and so they travel a lot leaving their eighteen year old daughter alone in a condo where anything can happen... But they trust me and I love my parents for that.

I gathered all my junk and took a nice long shower letting the hot water melt away all my worries and fears. I washed my body and rinsed my hair finally getting out of the shower. I dressed quickly and ran downstairs to make a qucik omelett. I plopped the egg in the warm enough pan and waited for it to cook also brushing my hair at the same time. I ran back upstairs and put my untangly hair in a messy bun. Than i ran back down to eat my omlett.

Wow I'm surprised I haven't tripped yet I thought as I ate my omlett really fast burning my tongue in the process. I ran up the stairs, for the last time, to brush my teeth, put some lotion on my rusty looking legs and gather all my books. Running back down the stairs is harder with your heavy bookbag on your back and especially when you have socks on. So of course I tripped and fell on my but all the way down the stairs.

I sat at the bottom of the stairs for at least five minutes trying to keep the tears back. I have enough of those crying every night. The pain began to feel numb and I stood up and slipped my gray flats on grabbed the keys, and ipod and left. I pushed the elevator button and waited for it to come when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I sighed and turned around already knowing who it was. And there she was pale skinned spiky haired browned eyed Alice.

" Hey Bella." I gave her a small smile and walked in to the elevator with her right behind me. Don't get me wrong I love Alice. We've been friends since we were in diapers but she's a morning person and well... I'm not.

She knew this so she was quite the whole ride down to the lobby while I tryed to find my sweater that is usually in my bag. I probably left it in my locker. I groaned and put my ipod in a spot in my bookbag and put the earphones in my ears letting Flyleaf take over me. I just love all there songs! They are so amzing and wonderful and I love Lacey's voice.

Alice walked by me to school in silence which is alittle unusual. She usually starts talking to me when we get outside. It was cold and misty this morning and I felt horrible leaving my sweater in my locker. We finally got to school and Alice left to go find Jasper, her boyfriend, leaving me to find my long-lost sweater.

I walked up the two flights of stars that lead up to the second floor and over to my locker. I opened it and thank god! found my sweater. I grabbed it and stuff al my junk in there and closed it. I don't need anything for first period. I have gym first period. Ugh. I snuggled into my sweater closing my eyes and walked down the hall. Apperantly closing my eyes was a very bad idea cause I just so happened to trip.

I instinctively put out my arms to catch me before I fell flat on my face. But instead of feeling the floor i felt something hard yet soft. Like someone's chest... Arms wrapped around me and I gasped opening my eyes.

I think I knew who it was cause I felt an electric shock go through me. And here was the one and only brozne haired boy that sent my mind in a frenzy and my heart fluttering, Edward Masen.

I was staring straight into his emerald piercing eyes and they stared back into my brown boring ones. I felt the blood rise up to my cheeks and I looked down completely embarrssed. He let get of me and I helped pick up his books that probably flew to the ground.

" I am so sorry." I whispered.

Handing him his books. He smiled a breathtaking smile that seemed crooked. His white teeth shined form the florescent lights making my heart beat even faster. I can't believe this!  
" It's okay. At least I was there to catch you." He said.

His voice was like silk just running through the air into my head. He lifted his hand up hesitantly and stroked my cheek. My blush porbably turned ten times as red. He smiled again and walked behind me then stopped.

He turned around and said. "Seeya in fourth period, Bella."

I stared at him like in idiot as he walked down the hall and turned the corner. I was completely freaking out right now. I didn't know he noitced that I was in any of his classes and I definently didn't know he knew my name.  
Just then the bell rang and I hurried to my class in a complete daze.

Edward knows me, He knows my name.

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**A/N:**_ Okay so this is my first fanfic and I'm burning with curiousity. Tell me if you like it and if you want more. But it might take a while to update cause of school and stuff. I really want to know what you guys think so tell me what your really thinking and don't butter me up!_

_Oh and this is sorta based on me...sorta . Like there was this boy that I started liking and he was like my bestfriend and well it didn't end well, But don't worry this story will be filled with some kind of happiness. Some..._

_Lol Freaked you out there huh?_

_Oh and I'm new so it will take a while for me to figure things out like how to put the next chappy on here...ya I know...I'm a little challenged...lol._

_Oh and If I spelled anything wrong please correct me... I think I spelled omlett wrong...idk_

_This story was inspired by So I thought by Flyleaf. Just listen to it! you will cry I swear! well I cried..._

_Me: Do I own twlight, Edward??_

_Eddie: Nope, Sorry._

_Me: Will I ever own Twilight_

_Eddie:ermmmm...I think the answer is no??_

_Me: Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...Wrong!! One day I will rule the world including twilight!!muahahahahaha!_

_Eddie: mutters Whacko!_

_Me: huh??_

_Eddie: Achhhhhooooo...nothing!_

_Hope you like!_

_, I am your worst nightmare_

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	2. Not the best

So I thought

Chapter 2:Woah...random...

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_If you've read this already skip to the bottom._

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I was floating with Bliss walking to gym. When I got there Alice was jumping up and down smiling widley at me. " Bella! Over here!" She yelled waving her hands around and looking like a total nut.  
I couldn't help but laugh as I walked towards her. I opened up my locker and unbuttoned my shirt, pulling my gym shirt on. That's when she started talking.

" Bella, I heard form Angela that heard Jessica saying to Lauren that Lauren asked Edward out and guess what he said?" She said it really fast and in one breath but I stilled managed to hear what she said.

" Hmm..?" I said." He said "Dans vos res" which is french for In your dreams and walked away. Hahahahahaa. I wish I was there to witness that.hahahaha."

I couldn't help but laugh with her and smile very wildely. She caught my smile and raised her eye brows but didn't question it. Thank god.

Even though he actually noticed me today I was still a little disappointed that he didn't notice me in the pass year that I was crushing on him. I sighed and stripped of my skirt and in it's place even shorter shorts. Today was monday so we had to run for thirty six minutes on the track. I hate mondays... We all walked out to the track after our coach, Mrs.Vanhulle, checked the attendence. I watched everyone else as they started running around the track while I waited there doing absolutely nothing. I can barely walk why does the coach think I can run? "Swan!"  
I heard the coach yell my name, even though she was only five feet away.

I turned around and put the most innocent smile I could muster on my face." Can you count the laps for me?" Woah I was expecting her to say something like move your butt or something. I nodded and she handed me her clip board and a folded up chair for sitting on. So that's how P.E went. Me recording other students laps.  
Second period was Calculous and it really wasn't that exciting.

I knew what I was doing, just waiting for fourth period to come so I could see him. So I could see his bronze messy hair and his crooked smile that went so perfectly with his green eyes. For third period I had world history with Mike and jessica. Mike wouldn't stop talking to me. Curse the teacher for giving seating charts!

" So Bella, you doin' anything this weekend?" Mike asked. Why me?! " Unfortunetly I'm going to...ummm...I have ummm..." I can't think of anything.Darn...think! Think!" Alice is taking me shopping."

There that works." Oh...Well maybe next time?" The teacher began the lecture just then. Oh thank you! I looked to the otherside of me and noticed Jessica staring at me. No wait not staring..glaring? I quickly turned back around and managed to listen to the teacher.

Lunch finally appeared and I was too excited to eat.

I found my table and Alice,Jasper,Ben,Angela,and Tanya were all sitting there. All who was missing was Emmett. Wonder where he is. He is never late for lunch.

I realized I left my lunch money in my locker and went to go get it. I walked up the stairs, suprised I didn't trip, and stopped. Emmett was there in the hall with Rosalie, the head cheerleader. They weren't doing anything but I was still suprised. I comepletely ignored him and went to my locker.

When I opened it a pice of folded paper fell out. I picked it up and written neatly on it it sayed " Bella" I didn't recognize the writing but I opoened it anyway.

It said

_" Want to eat lucnh with me? _

_If so meet me outside buy the big oak tree_

_, Edward."_

I felt someones warm breath breathe on my neck.

Then I heard Emmett's booming voice. " Oh looks like Edward has a little crush!"

I turned around and smacked him upside the head.

"owwwwww. Gosh Bella. Can't you take a joke?"

I smacked him again. " So you gonna meet him?" He asked.

I thought about that. Should I meet him? What if he's just joking around? Emmett was staring at me intensly and that was not helping my situation. " I guess." I whispered, blushing.

He noticed the blush." Now Bella be home before midnight," He said pointing his finger at me and using a very bad impersination of a fatherally voice. " And don't let him do anything to you that you don't want to do."

Oh my gosh! I felt my face heat up and he burst out laughing. This earned him a smashed foot." Hmph." I left him there hopping on one foot and quickly got my lunch.

I walked to the doors that lead outside to the rest area and slowly opened it...

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_A/N: Okay this wasn't the best that I could come up with. _

_I'm thinking about writing another chapter two to replace this one?_

_So tell me what you guys think...??_

_Thnx_

_,I am your worst nightmare_


	3. Thinking is not the best

So I thought

Chapter 3: Thinking is not the best.

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The cool air rushed pat me as I walked to the big oak tree where I could see Edward. He was sitting there writing something in a notebook.

He looked up at me and smiled his crooked beauitful smile, making my heart flutter. I didn't know what to think or say. I stopped infront of him and smiled sheepishly.

He patted the spot next to him and I hesitantly sat down. I wondered what brought this all on? Did he need help with his work or something. Or was he playing some mean prank?  
Edward is very popular. He's the quarterback on the football team and well everyone loves him.

I'm just some quiet girl that keeps to herself.

Why would he notice me? We both ate in silence but it wasn't awkward.

It was nice having him there next to me. I looked up at him and he was staring at me. I quickly looked down and felt the

blood rush up to my cheeks. I'm pretty sure he noticed my blush. Curse me for putting my hair up today!

A couple of minutes passed and my curiousity got the best of me.

" So...what brought this on?" I asked quietly.

I saw him smile form the corner of my eye.

" I don't know..." He murmmered.

I looked at him and he seemd to be deep in thought. His eyebrows scrunched from concentration and I couldn't help but start giggling. "What?" He asked. I shook my head and smiled at him.

He started thinking again and I turned my head the other way making sure I wouldn't laugh. After a while he finally answered my question.

"I think...I want to be your friend Bella. I want to get to know you better. You are very unique. There's just something about you..." He muttered the last part and I almost didn't hear him.

Some part of me was bubbling with joy and happiness while the other part was filled with...something else. Sorrow? I didn't know.

Though it felt strange I happy that he finally noticed me but disappointed that it took him this long. I stared up at the sky and thought this through. I wanted to be with him but what if it doesn't turn out right? I just don't want to feel the pain...

Edward's point of view

I watched her stare up at the sky, thinking.

Her nose scrunched up and her eyes seemed to hold some kind of pain.

I didn't know what to think of that. Bella was so different form any other gilr I've met. She was more quiet and didn't seem to notice me that much.

Sometimes I'd catch he staring at me but the look in her eyes told me she was debating over something. It was very confusing. I didn't know if she felt the same way i did and I really wanted to find out but it's too soon for that.

I've also noticed that she likes to go slow. She does it with her work and her walking, though that's probably because she's an accident waiting to happen. She's more observant too.

Hmmm..." I have to go." She blurted out all of a sudden. I didn't get the chance to ask why she just got up with her lunch and left. Did I do something? Does she not like me? I really want to know what she's thinking. Why does she have to be so different! Ugh!

Bella's point of view

I hurried to the girls bathroom and dumped all my things to the floor. I stared at myself in the mirror and one single tear slid down my brown eye. I hate this.

The bell rung for fourth period and I was thinking of skipping it. and apparently fifth and sixth too.

I had those classes with him. I decided to just ignore him and went to class. I took my seat all the way in the back by the windows.

It started raining and I watched the raindrope slide down the windows joining others or seperating form them. I didn't notice that Edward took the seat next to me.

I didn't give him a glance. just ignore him. A piece of paper slid over to me. What am I supposed to do. Throw it away? I took the note and passed it back to him hoping he'd take the hint.

I needed time to think and was not helping at all. The biology teacher, Mr banner, walked in and started his lecture. I barely listened only catching a few words. something about electricity... Angela turned around in her seat and stared at me with a questioing gaze. Her eyes flickered to Edward.

Oh she wants to know he's sitting next to me. Me too ,I thought. I shrugged and went back to thinking. What am I supposed to do. Go along with this. His plan didn't seem well thought out. Be friends? Then what? How are we gonna become friends anyway?

I barely know him, even though I've been crushing on him for a year, and he barely knows me, I think.

So what? Were supposed to be all buddy buddy? I sighed and saw Edward look at me for a second.

" Miss Swan?" The teahcer called me out for something. I stared at him, confused. "Controlled variable." whispered Edward under his breath. I repeated what he said and the teacher went back to talking. "Thanks." I whispered back. This class seemed to last forever.

Finally the bell rung for fifth period. I got up and went to my next class, still thinking.

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_A/N: Okay this took awhile to write and it's pretty short...so was the last one._

_It's sort of confusing to me a little._

_It's hard to find out what my character's (well not mine) are thinking. Even though I can make them think whatever they wanna think..._

_Anyway review and suggest some ideas if you want you never know I might use itP_


	4. AN

_**Attention!!**_

_**Okay I'm gonna update this weekend I promise I've been so busy!!**_

_**I've decided that I'm getting rid of my other story "I'll run" because I'm new at this writing junk so i should only concentrate on one story.**_

_**So Expect another chapter for So i thought by tomorrow or today maybe...**_


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